This begins the story of SDN and QMP, soulmates that have been driven apart due to unlikely forces – Q being in prison for a total of 17 years. While he’s done a majority of his time, the two of them have roughly 5 years remaining before they can be fully reunited.
While the love between them is truly unmatched, the road hasn’t been easy. If you want the full story of their long and continuous journey of fate and spiritual connection, stay tuned.
Love is Life and Life is Love.
CHAPTER 1: Missed Connections
Their story begins in high school, circa 2003, when the two attended different high schools. Both of them were in their school’s NJROTC programs, participating in various drill and athletics teams. Because the district was pretty large, they often attended the same competitions, and crossed paths very informally.
S developed a crush on Q after seeing him commanding his teams, or competing in the front of various squads. She immediately noticed that he was beautiful. Full of life and clearly was in charge somehow. He was attractive, seemed to smile a lot, but had a ton of depth about him.
“Omg. I saw P—— from Salem. The guy who’s never noticed me. I’ve had a huge crush on him since I was a freshman but he’s never noticed me….. 😦 I’ve promised myself this year that I’m gonna tell him how I feel about him sum kinda way….
– S’ Online Journal 2/5/05But owell I guess.”
Throughout the years of high school, S continued to watch for him at those regional competitions. She was nervous to approach him, as she was shy and felt a little concerned that he would think she was crazy for watching him. She also figured out at some point that he had a girlfriend.
Dawn doesn’t break everywhere at once… and Q’s journey with S began sometime after she took to crushing on him… Q lived oblivious of S for years. Meanwhile, his path took him through a stretch of teen pregnancy, dropping out of school, and early-adulting, all within his early years of high school.
In 2005, S didn’t know, but Q actually left high school, and left the NJROTC program. Not knowing what situation he was in, S saw him and gathered enough balls to write him a note, thinking he was older than she was and that he was graduating.
Fortuitously, he had attended a JROTC event hosted at his former high school, this time as a spectator. As the event was coming to a close and Q was on his way out the doors, he was approached by a young girl of whom he was not familiar. She had her hand extended toward him with a folded piece of paper in it. She said something to the extent of: “This is a note from my friend.” As abruptly as she appeared, she was gone. Without leaving the spot he had encountered the girl, Q immediately began to unfold the paper. There was a brief message that read something like:
“I’m S, I go to Kecoughtan. I don’t know if you have a girlfriend or not, but here’s my MySpace.”
Funny thing, Q didn’t even know what MySpace was at the time, so he ran around the school looking for the girl who delivered the note, as to locate its author. Sadly, Q was unsuccessful. He headed home, eager to put a face to the written word. But first – he had to create a MySpace. Eventually, he found himself pursuing many whimsical photos and quotes of a girl he would come to recognize as his soulmate, something his heart had already acknowledged. Obviously, at some point in time, he did send her a message and they began talking and getting to know each other.
S and Q began a stint of messaging one another, sharing small pieces of themselves and adding twine to the braid that would become their bond and lifeline. (S has attempted to retrieve the messages on MySpace, but has been unable to log in to the former MySpace page at this point in time.) Q was always very intrigued by her, and was looking for a way to get to Richmond to see her.
CHAPTER 2: First Time
Chapter 2 truly begins when they officially met on November 12, 2006.
At this point in time, Q continued to deal with the struggles he had accumulated early in his teenage years and S had begun her first year of college. After months of messaging, an opportunity arose where the young kindred spirits could finally meet.
Broad Street, in front of the Siegel Center, Richmond, Va.
Q describes the moment as if it was a movie. He knows that she wore a pink coat and a red shirt, even though S didn’t recall.
Q searched up and down an unreasonably busy sidewalk looking for someone who fit the images he had only been able to admire on a desktop computer screen. Finally, he spotted what he believed was S walking toward him. He livened, but did not explode into greeting as he wanted. Truly, he still didn’t know if it was her for sure. So Q continued to advance. This is the first time Q had gotten to experience the always nymph-like nature of S.
He approached with caution – so much caution – that Q passed her and only examined a close up of the girl from the corner of his eye. What he caught, in fact, was her doing the same thing: looking out of the corner of her eye. The only difference was that her face beared a prank-ish grin. They both stopped, spun around, and locked eyes for a full second… and immediately they both burst into laughter.
From that moment on, Q knew love.
The two met by body when he crossed the street, and they shared a warm hug. They then walked over to the Commons area, and/or a friends house and talked the whole time. Laughing together and taking selfies. Falling in love. They shared a kiss before they parted, sealing their feelings for one another.
They began talking most days of the week, and while there were other romantic situations each of them had, there was something very special about their connection. They talked on the phone, wrote to each other, and saw each other when they could. They quickly realized they had a LOT in common. They found out their zodiac signs were compatible, that they shared a lot of views on love, music, dancing, and that their mothers shared the same VERY unique names. The connections of their souls was very clear, and even though they were only 18 years old, it was evident that they were building something incredible.
Q came over yesterday. We had alotta fun. I guess its real nice. We were jus goofin around for a while. hes so much like me…its crazy…
– S, 4/10/07, S’ Online Journal
In early spring, as fate would have it, they shared true intimacy. Ironically, it was S’s first time. She was able to share it with someone she was falling in love with, and the moment was very special.
As time went on, both Q and S dealt with the trails and tribulations of young love. Exchanging ‘I love you’s’ plentifully, spending nights on the phone, text messages all day, writing on each other’s Facebook walls to commemorate the special connection they had – the whole nine. But even though there was clearly a lot of love present, it wasn’t always easy to manage as 18 year olds.
“I spent so many nights thinking of you, to come to the best conclusion possible. You don’t need your perfect man…you don’t need me at all. I have spent a lot of time thinking if I could make it better and the fact is… I can’t. I guess this is my formal surrender in the pursuit of you. Love is a very difficult thing and to be honest, it can kill you. I love you and I know you know that, but if you want to do your own thing, then I have no choice but to let you do you. I’m tired of being in love without thinking… ‘what if she doesn’t feel the same way?'”
– QMP, 2/26/07
S’ Online Journal
Although they both had all of that love and a notable relationship, they were going through their own personal issues. On one hand, S was in college and trying to balance moving out and being on her own. She was experiencing life for the first time, trying to stay afloat with difficult classes and figuring out what she wanted to do with her life. Q, on the other hand, was working and living on the Southside of town, also adjusting to a new life. Moving from VA beach, adjusting from the life he knew with the friends he knew, and as he’d say ‘staying away from the police.’ He wanted to get his own apartment, go back to school, and was constantly creating things.
Once the summer came, and the second semester came to a close, it was time for S to return back home to Hampton. They had an emotional parting that day, as they both knew things wouldn’t be the same as they once were.
Q_AIM: just be happy…
– AIM Conversation, May 2007, S’ Online Journal
S_AIM: mannn
S_AIM: ima try
S_AIM: but i need you
Q_AIM: i need you too
Q_AIM: i want to be around all the time
Q_AIM: its not right without you
S_AIM: you right…
S_AIM: it hurts
S_AIM: my better half…
Q_AIM: my best friend…
S_AIM: my love…
Q_AIM: and my worst enemy
S_AIM: 😦
S_AIM: now im tearin up.
S_AIM: im ohk now
S_AIM: **sniffs
Q_AIM: good…
Their relationship continued to get more difficult living in two different cities. They made slideshow videos for each other, and spent nights on the phone crying and wishing they could be together. There was a time when Q had to move back to VA Beach, which made it even tougher for them, as he was getting back into the habits of his old life, with his old friends. S was drifting as well, working her first summer job, and looking forward to starting her second year of college. While they did continue to stay in contact, and managed to see each other here and there, it began to get harder and their egos started to take front and center.
While they started to lose touch with one another, it was clear that they never grew apart. Circumstances began to alter their paths, and they hadn’t spoken at all.
CHAPTER 3: Re-Connecting
Years had gone by. 11 years to be exact.
S ended up graduating from college in 2010. She went on to a career in advertising, and having one child, born in 2012. As she grew closer to her thirties, she started recognizing the need to be appreciated and loved for who she was without reservation. She seemed to always have trouble in her relationships, seeking something that she only knew to be within one man she had come in contact with in life, Q.
Q was in prison, pursuing spiritual development and learning a better way. Cycles of learning, living, and then ‘living what was learned’ – is what played over the monotony of prison life. All the while, he never abandoned his search for love and its true meaning and true form. A form he had only been fortunate enough to glimpse once, in the corner of an eye on a grinning face.
Q had opted early in his incarceration not to contact family and friends alike, feeling like he would infect others lives with his misfortune. Eventually, that faulty form of thinking lapsed under the weight of the words that read along the lines of his mother’s first letter. Q found a light and wanted to reconnected with those he loved. S filled every inch of his mind, and through the immense fear that S had likely found love and moved on after ten years, he petitioned his sister for help reconnecting him with S…
Q, a deplorable felon. What could S possibly want with him? “She had promise, personality, and beauty. Enough to enliven the world. Someone had to have wed her.” While those negative thoughts filled Q’s head, he knew he was stronger in this moment. His love was stronger, and would not fail him as it had before. He was ready to surrender…
One day, in 2018, S received a Facebook message from Q’s sister, stating that Q wanted to get in contact with her. While she was a little stunned by the message, and knew he was in prison; she couldn’t help but to feed into her keen curiosity.
It’s been 10 years… that’s so long ago. But the memories are just as vivid as the day they were created. I don’t really know how you view my abrupt departure… but trust and believe, if I had a better presence of mind and greater control of the situation, I would have done anything else other than to leave you. But the past be the past….
-Q, Excerpts from Letter to S, 3/30/18
….if there was any hurt done on my part, please forgive my state of ignorance. You will always be my better half (regardless of our status) my mind and heart constantly remind me of that. Hopefully this letter is the beginning of an end to our non-communication.
With those words, S was instantly intrigued, and immediately saw the boy she once was in love with, being the man she’s always been in love with. She couldn’t help but to respond.
I hope you’re okay and in good spirits. I know it’s been a really long time. I really want the best for you of course and I care about your well being and always will.
-S, Excerpts from Letter to Q, 4/3/19
S had reflected all the promise Q’s heart had attributed to her. She had graduated college and secured a career in advertising. Furthermore, she had a six-year old child and was still in a rocky relationship with the father. Surprisingly, she was unmarried.
They continued to touch base here and there for the remainder of 2018, about once a month. Once S learned of the time he has left, she kept him at a distance, worried that she may get wrapped up in a difficult situation, while she was dealing with her own additional drama and home life. But she thought of him often.
“We were inseparable. I felt like he knew me better than anyone and loved my soul in a way no one else could.”
– S, Online Journal, Therapy Exercise, 12/2/18
Meanwhile, Q was happy to hear from her in any capacity, but still found himself thinking the worst. S had a full blown life. Who was Q, but a fool to interrupt it. He was a fool indeed. A fool in love…
CHAPTER 4: Falling Again
In 2019, the same dance continued, where the two communicated via digital letters on a monthly basis, and started to really understand and get to know each other again, both immediately recognizing a deeper connection. In June, Q wrote ‘What is the Definition of Love?‘, a letter that REALLY called to S. She knew from that moment on that she could no longer put off hearing Q’s voice. They started to talk on the phone shortly after, and thus began the constant communication between the two.
They began to really fall in love again, gaining deeper insight into each other and remembering the love they once shared, and realizing that they truly are soulmates. After a couple months, S went to see Q for the first time in 12 years, during lockdown at the prison. It was a moment unlike any other. It was as if no time had passed. She recalled the same moment of seeing Q out of the corner of her eye when they met; when he walked into the visitation room. They became immediately bound by body, the same way they had connected spiritually. It was evident that they were truly meant to be.
Currently, Q and S have continued this journey of life and love. Writing each other every day, communicating on the phone consistently, and seeing each other as often as possible. While communication can be difficult, the two are constantly connecting via spirit and gaining deeper insight into each other. Loving the moments they’re making from this point on, planning their future together.
CHAPTER 5: Forever
It’s still being written.
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Your Loved One, Q 