S: Manifesting the Bubble

3 years ago Q and I created what we call the bubble. It’s a spiritual space to which we exist together where it’s just us. We’ve historically referenced it as something that relates to how we start to change as people as it grows.

Well something happened okay visit on Sunday the 15th.

I was sitting across from him feeling an overall sense of gratitude for his presence. It had been over 3 weeks since I’d last been there, and 3 weeks since I’d gotten to wrap my arms around him and feel the since of safety I’ve only felt from his spirit. I held his hand with both of mine and held it close. I closed my eyes and I instantly filled with emotion through my whole body. Tears started form in my eyes. He held me closer and closed his too. I later learned he was praying. The moment was beautiful. I was relishing in the fact that he was real and he was just pure love in the flesh. It was like I couldn’t turn the tears off. He wiped my eyes as they filled my mask and neither of us had words for what felt like 5 minutes.

We then hear the lady at the desk call his last name. He gets up to go talk to her and I instantly felt alone again. When he came back, he told me they are not allowing us to hold hands. Both of us were crushed, and he had a clear sense of anger. I knew our moment wasn’t over, even if it couldn’t be physical.

I put my hands in front of me and put it on what would have formed a giant sphere. I told him to do the same, and there we were: with our hands on an invisible ball. We both started putting our hands around it. I asked him what it felt like, what it looked like, what it sounded like. We spent time building on it and following each other’s hands and fingers, to the point where I couldn’t tell which one of us was leading the other. We put our hands through it. Like water, he said. We then took our hands out and into our hearts. Like the ball was generating enough energy and positivity to recharge us as individuals.

It was powerful. A huge representation of how they can never take this from us. How our love is a ball of energy that we can create between us regardless of physical space. He called the ball of energy the bubble and it clicked immediately. Manifestation of the bubble.

Q even used it on his own. “I manifested the bubble by myself earlier. Just moved my hands like we did at visit and inhaled it into my heart.” Part of me has been afraid to access it due to the overwhelming emotional potential, but I’m grateful to know I have it.

The bubble is home, the bubble is us. The bubble exists regardless of time and space and physicality. Like God.


S: Achieving Greatness Through Love

Yesterday, we got a national holiday visit. 3 hours of bliss holding hands and talking face to face. Recharging the bubble and reminding each other of true love, by only looking into each other’s eyes.

I remember not knowing what true love was; but getting to know Q again and remembering how we were back then quickly brought me back to that point.

Today, I thought of the quality of love it takes to feel invincible. To be able to feel like you can do anything just by knowing and feeling and understanding how rare it is to be exposed to this form of power outside of a family relationship. It’s a beautiful thing. It reminded me that it’s important for us ALL to feel that way in our relationships.

Does your significant other enable you to achieve greatness? Why or why not?

S: The Little Things

Q and I have been seeing each other once every two weeks for the last month.

The first time I went to the prison, it had been the first time we’d seen each other in 12 years. It was almost like neither of us had changed. I was nervous of course, and a little off-put, as I had to wait over 3 hours before I was able to get my moment with him. But it was a moment like no other, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

This weekend was the 3rd time I’d been there. The bubble hangover was real, and the focus on the little things really started to take form for me.

When you have a restricted relationship – such as the one between Q and I, you really have to find ways to cherish the moments you have together, and the moments apart.

With communication becoming so on-demand these days, it’s become apparent that people are easy access. Social media allows us all to check up on each other, without ever reaching out. To make false connections in an instant and interpret words and emotions without a second thought. As people, we really have to become mindful of how we think of other individuals in context of ourselves in order to connect. That’s how Q and I have developed our path to feeling complete in one another.

When we’re speaking, it’s like dating. Spending time together, admiring talking about nothing, or talking about everything. Being very conscious of honesty and details. Trying to guess the facial expressions of one another. Enjoying being right and wrong about it. Enjoying the moods we’re in each day and hour, letting it influence our conversations.

His letters have become the pillow talk we’d have in the morning, and at night. They’re my safety net when I want to feel closer to him at any moment.

When we are holding hands, each subtle movement of an index finger to a palm becomes a physical ‘I love you.’

When we are locking eyes in the visitation room, there’s a thin line between purely feeling love, and making love.

Touching each others faces in silence becomes the way our souls slow dance, with their eyes closed, knowing that true love is among them.

My heart is definitely worried everything is too good to be true. But I try to stay present babe. Stay present in the moment and enjoy the Love we’re giving to one another each day.

– S, excerpt from Letter to Q 9/16/19

I’ve learned to start appreciating carrying Q everywhere I go, in my heart. Staying present and grateful for the time we’ve spent together. The things that remind me of him – including places I’ve been while talking to him, various music, random words, post-it notes on my desk, etc. I smile and remember that I am loved like no one else. That I am special in his eyes. That he’s out there being comforted by my love at every moment, just as I am by his. And that all of the little things matter.


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