S: Lockdown Thoughts

This is a rare JPay letter sighting (written by Q) from late October. It’s important to note that this writing style and this platform is so familiar and intimate to me. It brings warmth to my day. There’s nothing like seeing a new message notification and reading new words from him. It represents a bit of the little things that some relationships may not have the ability to appreciate.

This is especially true since my relationship is subjected to a difficult time each quarter, where he’s on lockdown. This means that all of the inmates in Q’s specific facility spend most of their time in their cell and are not able to make phone calls or use their JPay tablets to send or receive emails for 1-2 weeks. And it’s unknown when they’ll get out. While I can’t call or write immediately, I am able to attend weekend visitation and write with snail mail.

In the meantime, little pieces of old notes like these help me get through it. Helps me remember why we do what we do and that we are growing during this time. That our love is making more roots and we gain more grounding and appreciation for what we have. A feeling that will last a lifetime. It reminds me that with time and true love, there is going to be some work. And that we are working harder than most couples in some ways, but also growing effortlessly.

I’ll share more as they come.

– S

Q: America’s Child

The first time I was introduced to the concept of being a “Child of America,” I was in my freestyling with a few guys in here. We started listening to a Tupac Shakur track that had began with an interview. Pac stated, “I’m your child America, you just can’t throw me away like that!” Immediately, I felt it. I understood it.

Previous to that occurrence, I had never considered the intricate part that the government may have played in the degradation of its own citizens…

Currently, being incarcerated – but determined to transcend my long standing past as a misguided black man in America, I took heavily to educating myself. I gravitated toward subjects like psychology, sociology, economics, and political science. Between these subjects, I gained a greater understanding for society systemically, and revealed to myself the extent of governmental responsibility in the design of society, its social structures. It plays a key role in the success, or lack thereof, in the case of its citizens.

Just as I was not able to select to whom I was born, but love as an essential part of myself, I was unable to select to where I was born as well. But I am a patriot. I love America and consider myself a firm believer in its ideals of unity and equality.

Though I am a black man, and historically have more reasons than not to be suspect-able to the contrary, I, myself, do not take to the ideology that humankind is naturally evil. Nor do I subscribe to the notion that our leaders purposely design social structures to oppress any specific group of peoples.

Now, as I pace the corridors of the prison pods, I see great disparities in race and social status that is unavoidable. Could this be a product of a purposeful design I failed to recognize, or a deeply shameful neglect? Either or, there are people suffering. A great number of those people have grown up in the ‘Free World’ knowing nothing other than that suffering. Suffering, poverty, impoverished communities; and every bit of strife associated with such states… Criminal gangs, below standard schooling, and environments non-conducive to the development and cultivation of its youth… of its children…

Many of those children are in my demographic; populating the fenced in yards of the prison grounds littering the lands of the free, we know nothing more than what America has taught us. Miseducations and all… though we are taught that the American will is forged all the way down to its most lowly of citizens, it is evident that our governing body has some extent of responsibility to the state of its citizens as a whole… for we are its children…

-Q, Written 10/20/19

S: Achieving Greatness Through Love

Yesterday, we got a national holiday visit. 3 hours of bliss holding hands and talking face to face. Recharging the bubble and reminding each other of true love, by only looking into each other’s eyes.

I remember not knowing what true love was; but getting to know Q again and remembering how we were back then quickly brought me back to that point.

Today, I thought of the quality of love it takes to feel invincible. To be able to feel like you can do anything just by knowing and feeling and understanding how rare it is to be exposed to this form of power outside of a family relationship. It’s a beautiful thing. It reminded me that it’s important for us ALL to feel that way in our relationships.

Does your significant other enable you to achieve greatness? Why or why not?

The Bubble

The bubble represents the mental, emotional, and physical space to which the love between Q and S exists. It’s a metaphorical form of multiple things – from their phone conversations, letters, all the way to when they’re holding hands.

…the bubble…
An indention in time-space – a microcosm where only two distinct souls exist. Their unimpeded synergy generates so much creative/attractive force, that it must be contained within its own dimension of existence. Separate, but parallel to the physical reality most currently experienced…


The bubble takes many forms and has developed many functions, from bubble bursting, when they are returning back to reality after 100% recharge, to bubble highs and bubble hangovers, which are self explanatory.

Just as the womb serves as an incubator to newly forming infantile, so does the bubble. It serves as a space by which the the processes necessary for the two apparent souls will evolve into a more perfect and more whole being, and can be properly isolated and nurtured.


The bubble acts as an isolated space of their love, where they can recharge and eventually go out into the world, and spread that love and energy out to others.

The bubble, as with all constructs erected of spiritual forces, being more ethereal and idealistic in being, is impervious to physical damage. Only the disconnection, and interruption of the kindred spirits’ synergetic bond can cause the bubble harm…


The bubble is fragile and can fluctuate in strength and power depending on the situation. Since the bubble is transparent and sensitive, the building and preparation of the bubble is extensive and is in constant work-in-progress maintaining its stability.

The love that Q and S have is strong enough to handle something as fragile as a bubble – to keep it upstanding and growing for a lifetime.

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