A collection of insights, stories, and letters between two kindred souls, balancing love and life. S, and Q, who’s been incarcerated since 2008. We’re writers, passionate creators, and hopeless romantics, inspiring each other and those around us every day.
Hold on to everything, like it will all fly away.
Your pride, your truth, and all honesty ways.
Your speech, your logic, your poise and esteem,
But body and mind will still leave with the dream.
Oh poor man! Oh begger! Oh all righteous one!
Time ticks for us all and fate will ensue,
Oh hater of filth and lover of sun.
True things won’t transcend, but how about you.
– Q, 7/29/21
Phone conversation quote from Q, 5/22/20
Q and I started a new thing for 2020, Contemplation of the Week. It’s a quote or thought we find during the week, that we can document, write down, think about, and implement into our lives.
“Do not fear. Be responsible with your power of creation.”
– Q
“In the midst of the hysteria going on today with people watching their germs and trying not to get this global sickness, I’ve found myself full of anxiety on a daily basis. Worry in the back of my mind causing a rift in focus…
But I control my reaction to my thoughts. In fact, I create these thoughts. Being aware and understanding of my own creations… is imperative. Staying mindful of how to prevent, and not reactive, will protect my inner peace. Which is also my creation. Deep breathing and positive energy will alleviate my fear and bring love into the dark places in my mind. But only if I allow it.”
“The mind is the maker… when we set it upon a serious thought, maybe a dream we hope to attain, we began to shift the tides of the universe towards our desire. We can gather strength and energy to accomplish this desired reality. whether conscious or otherwise, we are constantly provoking a pattern that plays out in existence and alter realities… as so for positive aspirations, so too for negativity and its respects…
Fear, negativity, and worry these are not different from the thought that comprise our dreams. they manifest with the same swiftness. So it is wise for the creators, possessors of mind, to guard against negative thoughts and fears, because given the proper amount of attention they will come to fruition… be responsible with your power of creation…”
Q and I are starting a new thing for the year, Contemplation of the Week. It’s a quote or thought we find during the week, that we can document, write down, think about, and implement into our lives. For week one, we picked a quote that I happened to find on a tea bag. We decided to write about it. We may do so from time to time… and maybe post it. ❤️
WEEK ONE:
Earth laughs in flowers.
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
S: “There was a point in time when he used to always call me his flower. Delicate, beautiful, pure, and joyful. His flower.
Knowing that I am his light, and one of his biggest reasons, it scared me to feel it and see it. It also filled me with purpose and care to a level that I failed to see on my own. It effortlessly fuels the way he loves me.
I know that the earth is full of them – flowers. But a lot of them only spring in the spring. They are rare, but plentiful; like the frequency of comedy. Where there is joy, there is laughter. Where there is earth, there are flowers. Flowers are joy.
Earth will always produce that beauty for as long as there is soil, as long as there is water, as long as there is sun. Flowers cannot bloom without the nurturing of what is constant and what is true. The same goes for love.”
Q: “Living and breathing, the earth is a being equipped with its own soul and character. No different from any other organism.
What does it mean for one to laugh? A joyous reflex imprinted onto the innate operations of the soul. Our laughter signifies our joy. You could say it is the only moniker of a pure elation. The earth exemplifies its joy through the vessel of flowers. If one takes the time to really contemplate the flower, they may find all the joys of the earth, for themselves.”
Know everywhere you see the sky, I will not abandon you… just as I see the sun, the moon and the stars and know that your light never flees me. Our love is a matter of spirit. So no bounds, nor even time or space can capture it. It is forever and unending. Infinite and all encompassing.
I hope these words help you to embrace my spirit a little more easily tonight, and though you may not read them until later, tonight I hope you can rest in them… telepathic bubble power and shit. 🙂
– Q, Excerpt from letter 11/11/19
I didn’t get to read this letter until tonight. And tonight was when I needed it. I was under a lot of stress and was feeling a bit hopeless for a lot of reasons. And yet somehow, he’s always there when I need him. Always matching my energy and saying the things I need to hear, even when he’s not here.
Light speed.
We are light speed;
Forever traveling by the speed of light.
Forever traveling by the speed of a love rekindled –
By a light that never burns out.
Moving faster than a reason to run, or a reason to doubt.
My god of love and meee, running free;
Chasing a destined love for eternity.
Forever and ever at a pace unknown to man,
Living and loving as fast as we can.
Cheering at the finish line like a race that’s already won.
Chasing the feeling of a button, undone.
Connecting like a music note to a beat of a drum –
Descending on a mountain on a search for our kingdom.
Light speed, like a falling star from the sky made of you and I…
And landing on an unlimited supply
Of love and undying passion that’ll never end.
My person, now and forever again.
Light speed, because it’s us and it’s what we do…
When a love like ours is faithful and true…
Loyal and willing to carry out any task,
Revealing all that’s real and peeling back any masks –
Be it visible or deep in a dark place in the mind.
Absolving all mentions of time…
Time
is what we have and what we fear,
Even though this rush-lag is exhausting, we’re right here.
Here forever and just for now,
In the past, and the moment we seal this vow.
…Your hands in mine, just like the first time we met.
When we were two souls with zero regret.
Living life like we’d never forget,
And declaring love like we weren’t sure yet.
Light speed, one second at a time
because spirits don’t have a time-line.
That’s what the next life is for,
So I’m thanking the universe for giving US more.
Giving US a moment to explore
Ourselves… individually and together
Today, tomorrow, and eventually forever.
Light speed –
because we move like we always have.
Through years and decades and centuries,
Through miles, elements, and galaxies.
Through wavelengths upon wavelengths,
Knowledge and intelligence,
Growth and development.
Trees and roots,
Earth and water,
Life and love
And love and life.
We are light speed;
We’ve BEEN light speed.
Traveling like a love reincarnated –
Over and over again; it’s not complicated.
Leaps and bounds forever to find our way back to each other.
Each and everyday, engaged in one another.
Chasing the stars and the light…
That never burns out.
Running fasterrrr
than a reason to doubt.
-S, written 11/6
The first time I was introduced to the concept of being a “Child of America,” I was in my freestyling with a few guys in here. We started listening to a Tupac Shakur track that had began with an interview. Pac stated, “I’m your child America, you just can’t throw me away like that!” Immediately, I felt it. I understood it.
Previous to that occurrence, I had never considered the intricate part that the government may have played in the degradation of its own citizens…
Currently, being incarcerated – but determined to transcend my long standing past as a misguided black man in America, I took heavily to educating myself. I gravitated toward subjects like psychology, sociology, economics, and political science. Between these subjects, I gained a greater understanding for society systemically, and revealed to myself the extent of governmental responsibility in the design of society, its social structures. It plays a key role in the success, or lack thereof, in the case of its citizens.
Just as I was not able to select to whom I was born, but love as an essential part of myself, I was unable to select to where I was born as well. But I am a patriot. I love America and consider myself a firm believer in its ideals of unity and equality.
Though I am a black man, and historically have more reasons than not to be suspect-able to the contrary, I, myself, do not take to the ideology that humankind is naturally evil. Nor do I subscribe to the notion that our leaders purposely design social structures to oppress any specific group of peoples.
Now, as I pace the corridors of the prison pods, I see great disparities in race and social status that is unavoidable. Could this be a product of a purposeful design I failed to recognize, or a deeply shameful neglect? Either or, there are people suffering. A great number of those people have grown up in the ‘Free World’ knowing nothing other than that suffering. Suffering, poverty, impoverished communities; and every bit of strife associated with such states… Criminal gangs, below standard schooling, and environments non-conducive to the development and cultivation of its youth… of its children…
Many of those children are in my demographic; populating the fenced in yards of the prison grounds littering the lands of the free, we know nothing more than what America has taught us. Miseducations and all… though we are taught that the American will is forged all the way down to its most lowly of citizens, it is evident that our governing body has some extent of responsibility to the state of its citizens as a whole… for we are its children…
-Q, Written 10/20/19
Oh; What does it mean to have a love that’s forever?
A life of love that survives all obstacles, and makes me better.
What does it mean to have a love that lets me be creative,
whether its good or bad; practiced or forgotten.
What does it mean to have a love that lets me make mistakes,
but never lets me be less than my best.
What does it mean to have a love that makes me beautiful,
no matter what I’m wearing, how many pounds I’m gaining, or how much make up I’m saving.
What does it mean to have a love that speaks truth with every word,
no matter how unbelievable it may seem.
To have faith that is endless.
What does it mean to have a love that listens, even when I’m not talking.
…to have a love that moves me, even when I’m not walking.
What does it mean to have a love that lives in every single moment,
whether the
five senses can sense it
or not.
What does it mean to have a love with a mind of its own?
What does it mean to have a love that lives all around, in every object, every molecule, every thought.
What does it mean to have a love that time can’t shape?…
That time can’t break and time can’t shake? Having a love that can’t wait –
Because it doesn’t have to.
It means THIS love is fate,
And life’s what we make.
– S, for Q, Written 10/22/19
Yesterday, we got a national holiday visit. 3 hours of bliss holding hands and talking face to face. Recharging the bubble and reminding each other of true love, by only looking into each other’s eyes.
I remember not knowing what true love was; but getting to know Q again and remembering how we were back then quickly brought me back to that point.
Today, I thought of the quality of love it takes to feel invincible. To be able to feel like you can do anything just by knowing and feeling and understanding how rare it is to be exposed to this form of power outside of a family relationship. It’s a beautiful thing. It reminded me that it’s important for us ALL to feel that way in our relationships.
Does your significant other enable you to achieve greatness? Why or why not?
We were talking this morning about our future. About how hard this time will be for us.
Q mentioned something about us never being friends in the 12 years we’ve known each other. It’s true. Even as kids, we were zero to one hundred. Instantly in love. Instantly dramatic and full of intensity that was unavoidable. Instantly indebted to each other.
Now is no different. The way we have reconnected has been a quick process, but it hasn’t stopped us from moving as quickly as we naturally do. This time we have to do together, will be a true testament to our will and patience.
-S
Your Loved One, Q 