Tag: poems

Q: It’s Hard For Me

It’s hard for me…

because know what love is

…because I know you…

love is…

love is you and me.

its hard for me…

because its hard for you…

hard for you too.

Easy for me to feel this

easy for me to see

hard for you and I to sleep

hard for you and I from deep

its hard for me…

but easy to cry…

easier at night…

a hard day’s light…

a hard shine blinds…

easy hard time…

its hard for me…

to see your dreams…

to hear your scream so silently..

same as you suffers all in stride

hard for me to see your heart open wide.

it’s hard for me…

to feel you next to me..

to notice that it was just a scene…

to wake and stare at whats only air..

knowing that you were just there…

its hard for me…

because want you…

because I need you…

because I breathe you…

and air is in short supply…

its like breathing in your dreams… suffocating… but never die.

its hard for me because it hard for you

its hard for us because its easy for us.

a natural love i lust to live.

its hard for us,

because the distance takes and takes and takes…

no matter how much we give.

-Q

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S: All That I Can Do

When I start to

think about you…

my heart gets heavy

and my knees get weak

trying to fill the void

of emptiness, I seek

anything to keep me

out of the dark stormy rain

that lives inside me.

When I start to

see the days go by…

My heart gets heavy,

knowing the things you’ve missed.

The life unlived,

and the kisses unkissed.

The wishes… still wished

that that day would soon come,

and the let downs would cease,

and in my arms you’d run

forever…

without the bars between us.

When I think about you,

but until then that’s all that I can do.

-S, 12/1/22

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Victory

There’s been a ruffle in the rift,
A shift in the tide,
A victory won that was –
But wasn’t mine.

Sending waves of tears big enough
To fill an entire glass,
Because they consist of dreams and
what’s locked in the past.
Afraid of letting go of hope,
Afraid of losing control,
While negative thoughts have been on a roll…

But then…
There’s love – always threatening to pull me through.
Reminding me in tough times that there’s always YOU
In the back of my mind pushing me to
Be at my best;
Breaking down barriers and shaking the rest.
Continuously showing me the light
And touching my spirit,
Holding the mirror to my face
To make sure I get it.
Protecting my being,
Even when im at my worst.
Holding yourself back,
All just to put me first…

Love…
Is what will always get me through.
Love…
It’s what brought me to you.
So I’ll fight through crying, laughter, anger,
and everything in between
Just to continue to show you
how much it means
To have you by my side
through thick and thin –
Making sure I always win.

– S, 1/14/22

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Q: Poor Man’s Pride

Hold on to everything, like it will all fly away.

Your pride, your truth, and all honesty ways.

Your speech, your logic, your poise and esteem,

But body and mind will still leave with the dream.

Oh poor man! Oh begger! Oh all righteous one!

Time ticks for us all and fate will ensue,

Oh hater of filth and lover of sun.

True things won’t transcend, but how about you.

– Q, 7/29/21

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Q: JPay Poetry – A Visit From a Muse

This was written by Q, during a 10-minute break between video visits.

A crack in the sky
would not be as mesmerizing
As your smiling eyes.

A glowing fire,
lights behind the windows
which guard your soul.

A vision of your skin paints the inside
of my mind
with vexatious delight.

A portion of my being lies with you always Guiding my body through the trials of time –
Closer to your embrace.

Given the dawn as a gift,
I would deliver you the day.
Given the moon as a prize,
We would make sure the night shines.
Given 10 minutes,
I would attempt to describe the endless
depths of my love for you.
Given a lifetime,
I would ensure that you experience it forever.

-Q, 5/19/21

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Q: Dawning Sky

Light loves the skin
With an awakening warmth,
Your smile plays on the horizon of my mind,
A dawn of a purple sky…
Your love
never leaves me.

A caged bird sings,
Slumber out of sight,
Love leaves it sleepless
because the love never leaves.

Oh God,
you pour into my soul a sweet nectar –
something belonging to,
but unpossessed.
A nourishing love
Life-giving,
where once a man was dead to the living.
That nectar,
what man sought during dark times…
That nectar…
The elixir of life… the secret to immortality.

God, why do you find me –
a faithless, lowly man, a crook and a thief –
worthy of such a prize?
Worthy of love
that lights the dawning sky.

– Q, 1/29/21

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S: My Quarantine Birthday

Never did I think I’d also somehow have a quarantine birthday, but alas, here we are.

It’s still very much the ‘pandemic times’ right now so we didn’t get to see eachother in person. But luckily I got to start the day off with a video visit with him. Coffee time, which was beautiful.

A couple days prior to that, I received a package in the mail addressed to me. I knew what it was because he had spoiled the surprise of what he’d gotten me for my birthday, but I didn’t know what it looked like. I unwrapped the box and pulled it out, and it’s a beautiful little bonsai tree. An outdoor juniper bonsai. I love that he listens. He knows how much I love plants and the joy they bring to me.

He and I named him together. Going back and forth. Once told him that it seemed male, we started talking about boy names and couldn’t land on one. I told him that the tree was spikey, but soft and gentle. Small but mighty. He thought about it for a while and said – ‘what about Sonic? Like the hedgehog, who shares those same qualities.’ It was perfect. We shared an equal like for the movie, and both enjoyed the video game as kids. ‘Sonic the Bonsai’ I said.

I also got a beautiful handmade card from him. Another surprise. I waited to open it until my birthday. He had written a sweet little diddy, a birthday poem if you will. It made me smile…

“July 21st, a very special birth,
heaven opened up and an angel grazed the earth,

Oh, S. Dae!
special in every S. way,
the greatest of the greatest
birthday of birthdays.

All hail the Queen,
the only reason I’m a King,
and I’ve been enamored since the first “whatchu mean!?” 🙂

To my Queen, to my goddess
whom I love, respect, trust and adore,

Happy Birthday, my Lady and Love,
and to you, a million more…”

The best part about the day was that he felt very present. We didn’t get to talk much on the phone that day due to the Covid cases and lockdowns going on at his facility… but he was with me all day, even though he wasn’t. He made me feel so special and fills me with so much joy. I’m so so grateful. Happy birthday to me.

– S

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S: His Quarantine Birthday

Today is his 32nd birthday. Unfortunately, things have gotten harder as of last Thursday, when Q’s building had to go on a 14-day extensive quarantine. This means that on top of not visiting yesterday, we cannot talk today, nor can we have our planned video visitation.

Needless to say I’m a little devastated, and have been crying this morning. But an inkling inside of me continues to keep me calm. I know for a fact that it’s him… his spirit. Reminding me that we are in each others hearts on this day, no matter what we go through. That our love is always shining.

I thought I’d celebrate here by posting the poem I wrote for his birthday card the other day, and sharing this video screenshot of us dancing 13 years ago, today.

To The Man That I Love.

On the 27th of April,
a special moment of the year,
A sweet baby was born –
QMP is here!
And even if the world is falling,
From the sky above,
I’m screaming happy birthday,
To the man that I love.

To the man that I trust,
To the man that I lust,
The man that makes me smile,
Even when we start to fuss.
Cheers for a trip around the sun
We have to celebrate –
Happy birthdays are in order,
For the man that I appreciate.

For the man that I respect,
the man that I honor,
To the man that I stand for,
For whom I only grow fonder.
Feeling happy as I’ve ever been.
Although times may be rough –
I’m singing happy birthday,
To the man that I love.

-S, 4/22/20

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Q: When You Give Your Heart

When you give someone else your heart, they literally become your life…

…All my joy resides in a smile of a single soul.
Her laughter brings heaven to ear…
Behind her lively expressions, lay the keys to life.
My heart beats to the batter of her eyes.
My soul stirs at the rhythm of her breath.
She is my life… and without her I cannot live…

Her eyes hold the world.
Her touch holds the warmth of the sun.
Her voice chimes and darkness is eradicated.
Why must my heart be hers? Does but a fool bind his soul to another?
Who am I, but a fool?

To breathe you is my way to wisdom.
To hold you is my journey to understanding.
I seek you… through all the numerous things.
Through the golds, the jewels, and all matters of worldly powers –
I seek nothing but my Love.
And to me, there is nothing but her…

The flawlessness of a diamond only exposes its sterility.
The purity of a child only exposes its inexperience.
The perfect woman has the brilliance of a diamond, but the means of growth.
She has the purity of a child, but the wisdom to discern truth…

Every piece of you is my bread and breath… you, S, are my life.

– Q, written 12/8/19

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S: Light Speed (The Expression)

Light speed.
We are light speed;
Forever traveling by the speed of light.
Forever traveling by the speed of a love rekindled –
By a light that never burns out.
Moving faster than a reason to run, or a reason to doubt.

My god of love and meee, running free;
Chasing a destined love for eternity.
Forever and ever at a pace unknown to man,
Living and loving as fast as we can.
Cheering at the finish line like a race that’s already won.
Chasing the feeling of a button, undone.
Connecting like a music note to a beat of a drum –
Descending on a mountain on a search for our kingdom.

Light speed, like a falling star from the sky made of you and I…
And landing on an unlimited supply
Of love and undying passion that’ll never end.
My person, now and forever again.

Light speed, because it’s us and it’s what we do…
When a love like ours is faithful and true…
Loyal and willing to carry out any task,
Revealing all that’s real and peeling back any masks –
Be it visible or deep in a dark place in the mind.
Absolving all mentions of time…

Time
is what we have and what we fear,
Even though this rush-lag is exhausting, we’re right here.
Here forever and just for now,
In the past, and the moment we seal this vow.
…Your hands in mine, just like the first time we met.
When we were two souls with zero regret.
Living life like we’d never forget,
And declaring love like we weren’t sure yet.

Light speed, one second at a time
because spirits don’t have a time-line.
That’s what the next life is for,
So I’m thanking the universe for giving US more.
Giving US a moment to explore
Ourselves… individually and together
Today, tomorrow, and eventually forever.

Light speed –
because we move like we always have.
Through years and decades and centuries,
Through miles, elements, and galaxies.
Through wavelengths upon wavelengths,
Knowledge and intelligence,
Growth and development.
Trees and roots,
Earth and water,
Life and love
And love and life.

We are light speed;
We’ve BEEN light speed.
Traveling like a love reincarnated –
Over and over again; it’s not complicated.
Leaps and bounds forever to find our way back to each other.
Each and everyday, engaged in one another.
Chasing the stars and the light…
That never burns out.
Running fasterrrr
than a reason to doubt.

-S, written 11/6

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